Day 224: The Grace of the Sacrament of Marriage (1638-1645)

• It’s Day 224!!

• THE EFFECTS OF THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY

• THE MARRIAGE BOND

• THE GRACE OF THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY

• THE GOODS AND REQUIREMENTS OF CONJUGAL LOVE

• THE UNITY AND INDISSOLUBILITY OF MARRIAGE

• Let’s pray!!

Prayer by Fr. Mike: “Father in Heaven, we give you thanks in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ. I’m praying in the power of the Holy Spirit. We ask that you please hear our prayer, receive our hearts, open our hearts, and heal our hearts. Lord God, there is so much in our lives that causes so much noise, so many things in our lives that can be helpful distractions and so many things in our lives that can be unhelpful or even destructive distractions. Lord God, we ask that you please clear out those destructive distractions, those things that take us away from what you want us to hear, those things that take us away from what it is that you want us to do. Lord God, we ask you to please take away from our hearts all things that could rob our hearts from love of you and love of our neighbor. Take away from our lives all those things that could steal our hearts from you and could cool our hearts from love of neighbor. Lord, I ask you on this day to please strengthen all of those couples that have been called to the Sacrament of Matrimony. Please strengthen them in their love for each other. Strengthen them in their love for you. All those couples right now in this very moment that are struggling in their marriage, struggling in their vocation, we ask you to please give them the grace of patience. Give them the grace of perseverance, and give them the grace of hope. And remind them that their story is not over yet and that there are miles to go but they don’t have to walk them alone. Lord God, be with this entire community in this moment. Open our hearts, and fill them with your strength. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen”

• So there we have it!!

• WOW!!

• There is SO MUCH BEAUTY here

• There is SO MUCH GOODNESS here

• There is SO MUCH CHALLENGE here too

• Paragraph 1638 says, “‘From a valid marriage arises a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive; furthermore, in a Christian marriage the spouses are strengthened and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament.’”

• The bond lasts until DEATH

• The bond is PERPETUAL

• The bond is EXCLUSIVE

• Paragraph 1645 says, “Polygamy is contrary to conjugal love which is undivided and exclusive.”

• VERY IMPORTANT FOR ALL OF US!!

• Marriage on its own is not just a piece of paper

• It’s not just a declaration of love

• Yes you get a piece of paper and you declare your love

• What is marriage?

• It is a special sacrament instituted by Christ that gives grace

• Paragraph 1642 says, “Christ is the source of this grace. ‘Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of Matrimony.’ Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another’s burdens, to ‘be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ,’ and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love.”

• This is a sacrament of DISCIPLESHIP

• This is a sacrament of FOLLOWING AFTER JESUS

• This is a sacrament of SERVICE

• What does Jesus call us to do?

• Jesus says, “If you want to be my disciple, deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me.”

• Christ gives every married couple that strength

• WHICH IS AMAZING!!

• We don’t do it perfectly though

• This is a high call

• This gift is also a challenge

• This grace means that you are going to have to do things that are impossible for humans ON THEIR OWN

• Marriage exists in the natural order

• BUT…

• We are talking about the SUPERNATURAL ORDER OF GRACE

• Every one of you who is married knows that it requires supernatural grace to be able to say yes everyday, take up your cross, and rise again after you have fallen

• Every day forgive one another

• That call is so huge and important

• And there is the call to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ

• That call comes from St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians Ch 5

• Sometimes people cringe at this

• “Wives be submissive to your husbands in everything out of reverence for Christ.”

• There can be some hesitation in this

• What is happening?

• What do we think St. Paul is saying when he says that?

• The husband is the head of the family

• The wife is invited to submit to her husband

• What does that really mean?

• The whole section begins with, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

• SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST

• Husbands AND wives BOTH have this mutual call for submission

• What is submission?

• It is to place yourself under the mission of the other person

• This is why it is so important

• This is why from the outside it can look hostile, like tyranny

• From the inside, it hopefully makes sense

• Why?

• Because I will NEVER submit myself under the mission of someone I do not trust

• I will NEVER put myself under the mission of someone I don’t share their vision for the world

• So by saying, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” that is their MUTUAL SUBMISSION

• As its basis is MUTUAL TRUST

• From the outside, it sounds way out of line

• BUT…

• From the inside…

• (SQUIRREL!! 😉)

• The picture is not of a church mouse

• The picture is of MUTUAL SUBMISSION

• You submit to the other person because you place yourself under their mission because you TRUST THEIR MISSION

• BECAUSE YOU TRUST THEM!!

• Some Catholics and other Christians will believe that the husband is the father and the head of the house

• He is the leader called to lead

• Yes that is right and a biblical view of marriage

• BUT…

• THEY STOP THERE!!

• They stop thinking in Christian terms

• They think if the husband is the head of the house that means that he is in charge and what he says goes

• Wait a second…

• You’re just appealing to a Christian vision of what it means to be a husband

• But then you STOP on the Christian vision of what it is to LEAD

• You also have to have the Christian vision for what it is to LEAD

• Jesus is the head of the Church

• He leads

• What does it look like to be the head as Jesus?

• What does it look like to lead as Jesus?

• Is that DOMINATING?

• Is that BEING SERVED?

• Is that being waited upon hand and foot?

• NO!!

• Jesus Christ’s leadership is how can I be of service?

• Jesus leads by laying down His life

• He does not lead by being the CEO of the family

• Too many Catholics and Christians have embraced this biblical idea that the father is the head of the household but they have FORGOTTEN to also embrace the biblical idea of what it is to be the HEAD

• To be the HEAD is to be the CRUCIFIED ONE

• To be the HEAD is to be the ONE WHO LAYS DOWN HIS LIFE

• To be the HEAD is to be the ONE WHO RACES TO THE BOTTOM AND SERVES FROM THE BOTTOM

• Jesus Christ says, “The Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

• Fathers, husbands, are YOU willing to be the HEAD?

• St. Paul says in Ephesians Ch 5, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her, handing himself over for her.”

• THAT IS THE CALL RIGHT THERE!!

• How do I lead?

• FROM THE BOTTOM!!

• How do I lead?

• FROM THE CROSS!!

• THAT IS A HIGH CALL!!

• We are not able to do this without the grace that comes from Jesus

• Paragraph 1641 says, “‘By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God.’ This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple’s love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they ‘help one another to attain in holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children.’”

• This grace is intended to let them love even more and more like Jesus Christ

• What about the wife?

• What is it to follow?

• To follow is not to be like that church mouse

• What is the image of the Body of Christ?

• The Body of Christ is active

• So the head of the Church is active and serves

• He lays down His life for His Body and His Bride, the Church

• The Church does what?

• The Church is in constant relationship with our head

• We are in constant relationship with our Bridegroom

• The Bride, the Church, is in constant relationship with Jesus Christ

• Would you ever describe the Church as a mouse?

• Would you ever describe the Church as being small, ineffective, and lacking in power, lacking in strength, lacking in responsibility, lacking in the strength to move forward and bring the Kingdom of God into the world?

• NO!!

• In many ways, Jesus is the Bridegroom

• The Church is the Bride

• The husband is the bridegroom

• The wife is the bride

• Neither of them are diminished by marriage

• They both have complementary roles

• Their roles go back and forth

• They are dynamic

• No one in this relationship is the mouse

• No one in this relationship is the weak one

• BUT…

• They are a couple, equal in dignity, and given the source of grace, Jesus Christ Himself

• Paragraph 1643 says, “‘Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter-appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility.”

• We can call these the four marks of God’s love

• God’s love is always FREE

• God’s love is always TOTAL

• God’s love is always FAITHFUL

• God’s love is always FRUITFUL

• When God enters into a covenant with us, it is always free

• He is never coerced into it

• That is one of the reasons that free promise of love for each other is necessary for Matrimony

• It is FREE

• It is TOTAL

• It is DEFINITIVE SELF-GIVING

• I GIVE YOU MY WHOLE SELF

• It is FAITHFUL

• YOU AND NO OTHER

• It is FRUITFUL

• It is open to life and open to fertility

• If a marriage has aspects that are working against this or impeding this, they are not entering into marriage

• If the couple does not intend these four marks, they are not entering into marriage

• Fr. Mike is praying FOR YOU!!

• Please pray for Fr. Mike and for each other!!

• I cannot WAIT to see you tomorrow!!