So there we have it!!
Paragraph 2380 says, “Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations-even transient ones-they commit adultery. Christ condemns even adultery of mere desire. The sixth commandment and the New Testament forbid adultery absolutely. The prophets denounce the gravity of adultery; they see it as an image of the sin of idolatry.”
Sometimes people broaden out adultery to mean any sexual act being outside of marriage
That is not the case
Adultery means when two parters of whom at least one is married to someone else who have sexual relations
There are some times when someone might go to Confession and confess to the sin of adultery but they do not mean that
They are single and the person they have sexual relations are single too
Jesus went deeper and expanded adultery to any kind of looking with lust at another person whether they are married or not
The desire to use another person, whether mentally, emotionally, or physically
That is the opposite of love
St. Pope John Paul II said, “The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is use.”
We are called to recognize the personhood of every individual
What does lust drive us to do?
Lust moves us to simply use a person
A person is never meant to be used but only loved
In our daily interactions there are interactions that are utilitarian
Like going to the grocery store and talking to the check out person
We are called to not merely allow the moment to be utilitarian
We are called in that moment to rise above the simple use of another person and make a true human interaction
Does that make sense?
Jesus tells us that at every moment we are to see other individuals as persons who are deserving of love
Let’s listen to Fr. Mike talk about self-check outs at the grocery store…
St. Pope John Paul II (maybe) said, “The problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person but that it reveals too little.”
It obscures the person and reduces them to their parts
When we have adultery in our hearts, we are reducing a person to their mere parts
This is a grave sin
If you remember The Bible in a Year you remember how many times the analogy is made between idolatry and adultery
We are called to be faithful to the Lord God and to belong to any other false god is like adultery
Those who have entered into marriage are called to be completely faithful to their spouse
Paragraph 2381 says, “Adultery is an injustice. He who commits adultery fails in his commitment. He does injury to the sign of the covenant which the marriage bond is, transgresses the rights of the other spouse, and undermines the institution of marriage by breaking the contract on which it is based. He compromises the good of human generation and the welfare of children who need their parents’ stable union.”
They made a promise to be faithful to their spouse and they break that promise, which is unjust
They promised to be faithful, permanent, and not to leave
On someone’s wedding day, there is no need for them to promise to love the other person on that day
There is no need for them to promise to be faithful to that person on that day
There is no need to promise to be stable and to choose that person on that day
You are making those promises because the day is going to come when I won’t feel like choosing this person, or loving this person, etc. etc. etc.
The day is going to come when you will want to be unfaithful
When that day comes, I promise to choose you, to love you, and to be faithful to you
Let’s listen to Fr. Mike talk about C.S. Lewis and Sheldon Vanauken…
The False Sanction of Eros by Sheldon Vanauken
You made a promise that comes undone and the “sanction” that eros gives does not matter
To break this promise has a lot of consequences
Paragraph 2382 says, “The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law. Between the baptized, ‘a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.’”
Our culture says that divorce does not really hurt anybody
The kids bounce back
Paragraph 2384 says, “Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery: If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery; and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself.”
Divorce lets children know that mom and dad can change their mind, right?
So if they love me now, they can change their mind
Yes, they are trying to make the best of a bad situation
There are some really serious effects
What does sin do?
Sin never stops with us
Sin always echoes out
There are always consequences of our sins and of our choices
We shouldn’t listen to the voice of the accuser, but we should allow our hearts to be convicted
“Yeah, these are the choices I have made.”
We are all called to make promises and to keep our promises
When we don’t keep our promises, there are consequences
There is something helpful about acknowledging the consequences
Paragraph 2385 says, “Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.”
Fr. Mike has worked with students for two decades
There is an extra wound as children of divorce are entering into marriage age themselves
“Well, I don’t really believe in love. I don’t believe that a person can keep their promises.”
That wound can be healed
It is helpful for us to acknowledge that our choices have consequences
Our sins do not end with us
They echo out into our friends and society
What are my choices?
What are the consequences of my choices?
Where is it that I need to ask for forgiveness?
Where is it that I need to repent?
There are times when someone has not chosen divorce, it was chosen for them
Divorce is always tragic
Here is a person saying, “I am willing to do anything to fix this. I’m willing to work on this.”
The other party is done with this
Paragraph 2386 says, “It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.”
There is a big difference between the one who left and the one who is left
What if this is a violent place?
Paragraph 2383 says, “The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law. If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.”
In the civil divorce, the couple remains married to each other
If it was a covenantal marriage that was consummated, that is unbreakable
The only way it can end is in death
There might be cases where for safety sake or some other reason couples may need to separate
They are still married to each other
Marriage is a sign of the Trinity
Marriage is a sign of the covenant between God and His people
Because of that, there is this high call to marriage
Every married couple is meant to be an icon, an image of the very identity of God to the world
Every married couple is meant to be an icon of the very identity of God to the world
Every married couple is meant to be an icon of the very love of God between Him and the Church to the world
This is the high call of marriage
It is a hard call
Many of us are inspired
“Yes, that is what I want. I want to fight against adultery. I want to fight against divorce. I want to fight for my marriage.”
There are others who find themselves beaten up and in a place of sadness
“Oh, I was beaten or maybe I walked away. It was my fault.”
To be able to recognize that and to be able to take that next step
Let me go to Confession
Let me stop sinning
Turn back to the Lord to allow His grace to renew your heart and give you new hope
That is what we are praying for today
Fr. Mike is praying FOR YOU!!
Please pray for Fr. Mike and for each other!!
I cannot WAIT…