Day 284: The Fourth Commandment (2196-2200)

• It’s Day 284!!

• We start the second part of the Decalogue, Commandments 4-10

• CHAPTER TWO: “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF”

• ARTICLE 4: THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

• There is such richness 

• Fr. Mike is currently talking about all the things we will talk about tomorrow, which I will write down tomorrow…

• Let’s pray!!

Prayer by Fr. Mike: “Father in Heaven, we pray in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, and the Power of your Holy Spirit, give us a clear vision. Give us your vision of the role of the family in society. The role of the family in our world. Lord God, we have such distorted visions because of our own broken families. None of us have a perfect family. Every one of us comes from a dysfunctional family, and every one of us belongs to a dysfunctional family. And yet, you gave us the family. You created the family as the foundational building block, the primordial building block of society. And you have redeemed the family by your grace, and you have called us all to participate in the building up of your kingdom in and through the family. Because of that, Lord God, we ask you to please clear away the distortion. Bring back into focus how it is you want us to approach this great gift of family, and also heal, heal the wounds that our families have inflicted, and heal the wounds that we have inflicted on our families. Lord God, none of us are guiltless. None of us are painless or woundless. We are all hurt and we have all hurt. And so, Lord God, we ask you to please meet us in those places of hurt, meet us in those places where we are guilty and bring us closer to you. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen”

• So there we have it!!

• These Commandments are basically summed up in the Great Commandment

• Paragraph 2196 says, “In response to the question about the first of the commandments, Jesus says: ‘The first is, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” The second is this, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no other commandment greater than these.’”

• The Fourth Commandment becomes the first part of the second table of the Decalogue

• These Commandments address how we interact with other human beings

• The Catechism states very clearly that this is the primary relationship, the first relationship that every one of us has

• Every one of us has a mom and a dad

• Whether that mom or dad is present in our lives or was present in our lives is a whole other question

• Not everyone has a sibling

• Not everyone has uncles

• Not everyone has children

• Not everyone has extended family

• BUT…

• Every human being who has ever lived has had a mom and a dad

• Because of that, the Lord’s Commandments begin right here

• The family is the foundational building block of society

• Paragraph 2197 says, “The fourth commandment opens the second table of the Decalogue. It shows us the order of charity. God has willed that, after him, we should honor our parents to whom we owe life and who have handed on to us the knowledge of God. We are obliged to honor and respect all those whom God, for our good, has vested with his authority.”

• This might be a big challenge

• Every one of us is coming from a dysfunctional family in some way, shape, or form

• This is because every single one of us has dysfunctional hearts

• None of us have perfect parents

• None of us are perfect parents

• None of us are perfect siblings, children, spouses, or single people

• None of us are perfect

• So virtually every relationship that we touch is going to be dysfunctional

• There are greater and lesser degrees of dysfunction

• God gave this Commandment knowing that people would receive this Commandment while in the midst of dysfunctional families

• God did not tell us to honor our mother and father in perfect families

• God gave us this Commandment knowing that every human being would be born into a dysfunctional family

• All of these Commandments are going to challenge us in new ways and convict us in one way or another

• This falls under the context of justice

• What is the virtue of justice?

• It is giving to another what they are due

• The first subcategory of justice is the virtue of religion

• Under the virtue of justice are also things like patriotism

• BUT…

• First among them is family which is the next virtue under justice right after religion

• Why?

• Because we know that when it comes to religion, there is nothing we have that has not come from God

• When it comes to family, we owe our life to our parents and they have handed on to us the knowledge of God

• Paragraph 2199 says, “The fourth commandment is addressed expressly to children in their relationship to their father and mother, because this relationship is the most universal. It likewise concerns the ties of kinship between members of the extended family. It requires honor, affection, and gratitude toward elders and ancestors. Finally, it extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or govern it…” 

• How is this Commandment applicable when it comes to teachers, bosses, leaders, etc?

• It is applicable in the sense that these are people to whom we owe something

• An employee owes something to their employer

• A pupil owes something to their teacher

• A citizen owes something to their country

• This is the way the world is structured

• There is a way in which we can live this out, where there is respect and honor that is offered

• There are three levels of respect or honor that we can offer another person

• The first level belongs to every individual because they are made in God’s image and likeness

• Because of that, we must treat people with honor, respect, and dignity regardless of how powerful they are, how weak they are, how rich they are, how poor they are, how intelligent they are, how dumb they are

• The second level of respect is the respect owed because of their office (Especially Michael Scott, am I right?? 😉)

• Think of your priest or pastor

• There is a level of respect that we owe to his office

• Same thing with teachers or employers

• Etc. Etc. Etc.

• Same thing with parents

• There is a certain amount of respect and honor that we owe a person simply because they are our mother and father

• They might be amazing at their role

• They might be horrible at their role

• We honor the role itself

• We honor the position

• The third level is the character of the person, which has to be earned

• I’m going to let Fr. Mike elucidate about this because I see no need to type out every single thing he says for this explanation…

• The third level is when the individual has shown that they have exercised their role well

• Or it could even be that they are a good person even if they are not very good in their role, so I can honor them because they have developed their character in a phenomenal way

• Fr. Mike is talking about priests again so let’s listen…

• Ok now it’s moms and dads, same thing

• We can respect them for their character at this third level

• The Catechism makes a bold claim in our society

• Our society does not like the idea that we have to owe someone respect or honor 

• We don’t like the idea that we owe someone just because they have a role that they automatically get our respect and honor

• It is the role itself that we honor and respect, not necessarily the character of the person

• If we get that framework right, then we will be able to understand the rest of the Fourth Commandment

• Maybe your family is amazing

• But your boss?

• Your teacher?

• The elected official?

• Respect the office

• If they have shown themselves to be exemplary in character, then we can respect their character

• Paragraph 2199 continues, “This commandment includes and presupposes the duties of parents, instructors, teachers, leaders, magistrates, those who govern, all who exercise authority over others or over a community of persons.”

• It is not just that you owe something to your parents, employer, teacher, etc.

• Parents have a duty to their children

• Instructors and teachers have duties to their students

• Etc. Etc. Etc.

• Every real relationship must have real rights and real responsibilities

• If I am going to have a relationship with my parents, I have real rights and responsibilities when it comes to them and vice versa

• Paragraph 2200 says, “Observing the fourth commandment brings its reward: ‘Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you.’ Respecting this commandment provides, along with spiritual fruits, temporal fruits of peace and prosperity. Conversely, failure to observe it brings great harm to communities and to individuals.”

• Sometimes we can be really hard on the Ten Commandments

• If we live this way, not only will we grow spiritually, we will live in a world of peace and prosperity

• If we ignore the Commandments, it will bring great harm to communities and individuals

• That is a fact

• The Fourth Commandment is the first one with a blessing attached to it

• God gave this Commandment to broken people in broken relationships and broken families

• AND YET…

• A child could be the one to begin healing what is broken

• That is not to say you just pretend brokenness did not happen

• How can I honor my parents now?

• It is not going to be the same for everyone 

• To give some parents what they ask would help them

• To give other parents what they ask would hurt them

• Just because we are all called to honor our father and mother does not mean that we are called to take the same action

• Let’s listen to Fr. Mike’s example about a mother and her daughter…

• In one situation the mom needs rent money and the daughter can honor her by loaning her money

• The other situation is the mother uses money for drugs and asks for money and the daughter has offered help many times before and was rejected

• Now that the mom is desperate, she is asking for help 

• If the daughter helps, it might enable the mom to more destructive behavior

• It might be honoring of the daughter to deny the money to her mother

• Each daughter is honoring the mother 

• One by doing what the mother is asking

• One by refusing to do what the mother is asking

• This is where PRUDENCE and WISDOM comes in

• This is why we need to ask God for the grace of discernment

• It is hard to live in this world with brokenness

• It is hard to live in families that are full of brokenness

• That is why we need each other and we need God’s grace

• Fr. Mike is praying FOR YOU!!

• Please pray for Fr. Mike and for each other!!

• You know what it is…