Day 287: The Gratitude of Children (2214-2220)

• It’s Day 287!!

• THE DUTIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS

• THE DUTIES OF CHILDREN

• We will talk about how the family is essential and how we live in the family

• We belong to each other

• The original place where we belong to each other is in the family

• Every child has a mom and a dad somewhere

• So what are the duties of children to their parents?

• It’s not just about children and their parents

• It is also about grown adult children and their parents

• Let’s pray!!

Prayer by Fr. Mike: “Father in Heaven, thank you. Thank you. In the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, receive our thanks. Receive our praise. May you be glorified now and always. Lord God, may you be known. May your fatherhood be known. May your fatherhood be realized in the lives of every single person you have created and redeemed. Lord God, we ask that every person is baptized. We ask that every person comes to know you and come to know your love through Jesus Christ and the Power of the Holy Spirit. Lord God, bring every person into your family, and let there be no person on the face of this earth who lives another day and walks another step not knowing that you desire to be their Father, that you desire them to be your adopted children in Jesus Christ by the Power of the Holy Spirit. Lord God, let no person live the rest of their life in fatherlessness, but let all of us live with you as our Dad. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen”

• So there we have it!!

• Paragraph 2214 says, “The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood; this is the foundation of the honor owed to parents. The respect of children, whether minors or adults, for their father and mother is nourished by the natural affection born of the bond uniting them. It is required by God’s commandment.”

• God has made Himself our Father in adopting us in Jesus Christ with the Power of the Holy Spirit and Baptism

• All fatherhood flows from God, who is the ultimate Father

• Two key words to remember are GRATITUDE and OBEDIENCE

• Oh also DOCILITY

• Paragraph 2215 says, “Respect for parents (filial piety) derives from gratitude towards those who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace. ‘With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you?’”

• Every human being is a dysfunctional human being

• Every family is a dysfunctional family

• We can function, but we function brokenly

• This is not saying that everyone is rotten to the core

• It’s just that we are all imperfect

• Therefore, every child of their mom and dad has been an imperfect child

• Every parent of their child has been an imperfect parent

• Every husband has been imperfect

• Every wife has been imperfect

• That being said, there is still so much to be grateful for

• We can choose to emphasize where our parents have gone wrong

• OR…

• We can choose to remember where they went right

• Etc. etc. etc.

• We can acknowledge the debt that we owe them

• We can acknowledge the gratitude that we have for all that they have done for us and all that they have given

• Even if they haven’t given us what we wanted

• Even if they haven’t given us what we needed

• What they did give us is irreplaceable

• This is not to dismiss real pain, abuse, or neglect

• We are not saying ignore the hard things and only focus on the good things

• Let’s do both

• Let’s pay attention to the bad things and address them

• Let’s also pay attention to the good things and be grateful for them

• There are so many stories in our community doing The Catechism in a Year

• Because of that, there are so many wounds

• Fr. Mike is not dismissing those wounds

• Even in the midst of these, there is something to be grateful for

• This life is really hard

• There is so much suffering in our lives on a regular basis

• Seasons of suffering can feel like a lifetime of suffering

• That is true and we need to acknowledge that and do something about it

• At the same time, there is so much to be grateful for

• So what do we do?

• We cultivate an attitude of honesty

• We acknowledge the good and the bad

• We cultivate an attitude of gratitude

• Where we notice the good and thank whoever brought the good or gave the good

• Paragraph 2116 says, “Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience. ‘My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching…When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.’ ‘A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.’”

• Paragraph 2117 says, “As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. ‘Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.’ Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so. As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so in respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its root in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.”

• A lot of people feel that when they get to a certain age and leave home and it feels like every person is for themselves and mom and dad can take care of themselves

• The Church is envisioning something more beautiful

• Remember, marriage is the school of love

• That school does not end when you turn 18, 22, or when you leave home

• Now that you are an adult, how do you have an adult relationship with your mom and dad?

• Read Paragraph 2117 again…

• When we are out of the house and emancipated, we no longer owe our parents obedience

• We ALWAYS owe our parents respect

• Here again is a review of the levels of respect that we owe to people….

• First level = because of human dignity since we are each made in God’s image and likeness

• Second level = the respect that is owed to a person because they serve a function/role

• Third level = the respect that is owed to a person because they have earned it

• The Church says we always owe our parents respect on the first and second level

• Paragraph 2218 says, “The fourth commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude. For the Lord honored the father above the children, and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother. O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him…Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord.”

• What happens in old age as we continue to grow is we continue to become less and less independent

• We begin to need others more and more

• What happens to most of the people who are elderly in our world?

• They have fewer and fewer people to help them

• The more and more they need help, the fewer and fewer people there are to help them

• Let’s review the principle of subsidiarity 

• If I can help my mom and dad, I am supposed to help my mom and dad

• If my siblings and I can band together and help our parents, then we should band together and help our parents

• If we can’t…we enlist help from other people

• The first step is to see if I alone can do it

• Let’s listen to Fr. Mike’s story about his dad and mom…

• Do you know what is easier than picking up the phone and calling our parents?

• NOT picking up the phone and calling our parents

• Our command is to rhea out and offer whatever it is we can offer

• There are people in so many grave and serious situations where it is impossible to take care of their parents

• The first question has to be, what can I do?

• At some point we won’t have the chance to take care of them or even call them anymore

• So while we can, we MUST

• Isn’t that reasonable?

• The Commandments are going to convict us and remind us of areas in our hearts that do not belong to the Lord

• Maybe we are just too selfish or too busy

• The greatest spiritual enemy of our time is busyness

• The enemy of holiness in our time is busyness

• Think about how many times we just have not loved someone because we were too busy

• We have not loved the people we love the most because we are too busy

• After you press “stop” today, if you can, if you have parents who are still around, give them a call or text and reach out 

• If you can’t because they are not around anymore, then reach out to an aunt, uncle, or one of your siblings

• Paragraph 2219 says, “Filial respect promotes harmony in all of family life; it also concerns relationships between brothers and sisters. Respect toward parents fills the home with light and warmth. ‘Grandchildren are the crown of the aged.’ ‘With all humility and meekness, with patience, [support] one another in charity.’”

• Reach out to someone after this because this is about transformation

• If I have failed to love my parents or siblings, or the people around me, then start again

• We only have RIGHT NOW

• So let’s use it

• Fr. Mike is praying FOR YOU!!

• Please pray for Fr. Mike and for each other!!

• I cannot WAIT…